When it comes to communicating effectively with your toddler, it helps to understand that his mental world is much different than that yours. Wonderfully, his communication skills and willingness to cooperate will naturally make huge improvements the closer he gets to his third birthday, but until then, here are some hints for managing your little “The Young and the Restless” star:
- Be realistic. Rather than inundating your toddler with too many changes all at once, choose just one skill to work on at a time. Expect a learning curve, a “one-step-forward, two-steps-backward” progression for learning new skills.
- Move in close. Come in close, and touch him on shoulder when what you’ve got to say is important.
- Speak his name. No other word has quite the pulling strength of his own name for getting his attention.
- Get face time. He may not understand the command “Listen to me!” Try squatting down and asking him to look at you, instead: (With gestures) “Look at my eyes.”
- Speak softly. Your toddler’s hearing is likely superior to yours. No need to yell: A low, calm voice, almost a whisper, will do.
- Keep it short and simple. Use the most concrete and fewest words for making your point: “Here’s what I want you to try. Can you dothis? Model what you want: “Watch me.” Invite him to join in: “Now you try it.
- Make it fun. When delivering a lesson, convey enthusiasm as though you are presenting an exciting new game, and he’ll likely go for the bait.
- Back down. If he appears uninterested, distracted, or doesn’t respond when you’re trying to teach him something, don’t be tempted to lock horns. Just back away and try again later.
- Time it right. Keep an eye on his energy curve. The best time to try new things is when he’s most likely to be cooperative, alert, and playful. Cut slack during the hours you know he’s most likely to be fretful, tired, irritable, or hungry.
- Make directions positive. Rather than always telling him NOT to do things, express the behaviors you’re hoping for as simple, positive commands: “Walk slowly.” “Zip lips.” “Sit here.
- Don’t “overparent.” Rather than showering him with effusive praise or interrupting him when he is trying to concentrate, simply sit back, relax and observe what he’s doing, and then describe what you’re seeing when there’s a pause. “You’re helping Mommy put the toys away, aren’t you?” He can handle that.
- Help with transitions. Don’t upset him by abruptly shifting from one activity to another. Instead, prepare him first with a gentle warning: “You can play for 5 more minutes, but then we going inside for lunch.” Then: “Okay, it’s time to go inside.” Or offer him two simple options that make him feel he’s got some decision power: “Do you want to go inside now, or in 5 minutes?”